Legally Approved Seasonal Wish(es)

Dear friend/ colleague/ business associate/ Other (delete as applicable),

Having sought the advice of my legal council regarding an appropriate holiday greeting designed to meet the standards of political, social and religious tolerance demanded and required in these troubled times, please find below my considered and honest (as on the date of sending) wish(es)

“Please accept (with no obligation, implied or implicit) my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practises of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures, whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that the UK is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the Wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms and conditions
Best regards (without prejudice),
Name withheld
(In accordance with the terms of the Data Protection Act 1998 [UK recipients] and the Privacy Acts of 1974 [US recipients]; as amended 2010 [Australian recipients] and 1993 [New Zealand recipients]).
1. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal;
2. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting;
3. It implies no promise by the Wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for the Wishee or any other person(s);
4. It is void where prohibited by law;
5. It is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wisher;
6. The Wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wisher.